Friday, August 30, 2013


 Our newest Grandchild. She was born August 27th and weighed 7 pounds and 4 ounces and was 20 inches long. She is a perfectly beautiful baby. I feel so blessed and was so thrilled when I got to hold her.
 Our Son and Daughter-in-Love are wonderful attentive first time parents. I watched with pride as our son diapered that little girl with ease and pride. He waited on his wife with love and appreciation for all her hard work. I sat back and thanked the Lord he has a servants heart and that he is protective of both of them. I was able to tell him he could call me when he needed me and I know he will. I also know he will allow me to spoil that baby anytime. He knows Evie stole my heart from the minute I saw her. If you are a grandma you can understand that. There is something so very special when our children have children. In this case it is our youngest child's baby and I wonder where all the time has gone. It seems just yesterday that he was young....but now he is a man.
 I hope you will indulge me and  allow me to share one more photo.....
    Thanks for allowing me to share this Nana's joy. I am thankful Evie is a member of our family!

Monday, August 26, 2013


 I hate criticism coming from most people. I take it very personal and always have thought of it as pure rejection. Rejection has always been a problem for me. I think that root of rejection was part of my life from my early childhood. Let me share when it first cut through me like a knife.
 I grew up in the Mennonite Church and we always had a winter Bible School that was for a period of weeks When the church doors were open we were there. Just like summer Bible School there were classes for us kids and the adults had classes they could choose from. We met in the basement of the church and  had a break to use the rest room and get a drink from the drinking fountain. I was in line for a drink and a boy in my class that I had grown up with ......(I was only 9 years old)  turned and looked me in the face a said "Ha Ha my parents wanted me...your mom did not want you because you are adopted". I will never forget those words. I had no idea I was adopted and I sure had no idea what it meant but I knew it was ugly the way he said it. Daddy always knew my moods and I was so quiet going home that he asked me what was wrong. I blurted out why was I adopted. Silence. Mom told me to never mind and never use that word to her again and so I knew it was really bad. The next day I asked a wonderful school teacher I had who was very busy and so she handed me the dictionary and that sure made it worse.
It said....... " 1. law  to bring (a person) into a specific relationship, esp to take (another's child) as one's own child ".  
 That was it they stole me but who did they steal me from. I remember there were words that somehow lead me to bastard and than I thought it was me that was shameful and I must have been bad. Kids teased me about being adopted, one Bible teacher called me out when I was in 9th grade and asked before the class and asked "how does it feel to be adopted" and I ran out of the class and failed that quarter. Mom reminded me repeatedly that I was not "her flesh and blood" or her ugly sound when someone would say "My how she looks like her daddy" and each time I felt shame. I cut lose as a teen and was so tired of being the odd person out in school where few were adopted.
 During my wild days I had a precious man, our school chaplain by the name of David Thomas and called me into his office. He was a kind and gentle man and he knew why I was acting out. (My precious Aunt Emily Kraybill was teacher and principle at New Danville School where his children went). He gave me a challenge and he knew I loved a dare....he said when I was married I needed to adopt for each of us that were adopted would do this there would not be a need for institutions. I took that dare and had many foster kids and I did adopt.
 We did criticism slips at school and you can know I hated them and remember crying as I read them alone at night when I finally had enough nerve to read them. I would lay awake and try to figure out who said what and I would think how I might get even. I did not act those thoughts but they were sure wrong.
 But all through this part of my life I hated criticism because that meant rejection. I held each of those hurts in my heart and those walls went up. I became a person who really hated to leave anyone in close because I knew I would be hurt. I missed a lot of wonderful people doing this and I missed a lot of strength my Heavenly Father wanted to give me but I never asked.
 So criticism lead to rejection for me and that lead to an awful root....the root of bitterness. We will talk about that another day.
 Remember what Mary DeMuth says.... "Criticism, whether it’s accurate or not, does not define
you. Jesus defines you."
 Why am I sharing this journey now? Because I am reading the most wonderful book that will come out soon by Mary E.Demuth called "The Wall Around Your Heart" and you can per-order it. I suggest you consider buying this book. It is based on The Lord Prayer and you will find new meaning each time you pray that prayer.

Sunday, August 25, 2013


  Good Sunday Morning....It is a beautiful day here in Franklin, Georgia. The sun is out, the birds are singing and I am full of Gratitude for all the Lord has given me.
   I love this quote from Mary DeMuth's new book. When you see the many examples in the Word of God where Jesus loves those that hurt Him and His response that you also can follow in His steps. When we turn our hurt over to Him than you feel the healing begin. It seems to be a painful experience because we have to deal with our own negative thoughts toward the person that hurt us. I have found that when I pray for that person and ask God to bless them in a real way I find the negative feelings go away. It seems to me it is than that I also see the good traits in that person and I begin to see them as Jesus does. Often you see real hurt and pain in that person and than you can pray for healing for them.
 I took this picture in Massanutten, Virginia when we lived there.
  Yesterday was a very busy day. We go to market in LaGrange. It is a wonderful time to see friends and make new ones. I sell jam, jelly, hot and sweet Jalapeno slices and Lime Pickles which I cannot seem to make enough. But the big items this season is I make Baklava. At least 3 large pans.
  And we make Beignets there on site and we are busy making these .....people love them. This photo is the samples we share with market customers. I make 7 or 8 batches on Friday.

   Needless to say we are worn out after getting up at 5, packing up, setting up, cooking, taking down and than cleaning it all up at home again. But it is a feeling of satisfaction!

Friday, August 23, 2013

 I cannot believe I have neglected this blog for so long. It sure was not my intention at all. To be honest I have been going through a real dry time in my life. Things have happened that have caused me great pain and I was not able to deal with things very in a productive way. In fact I have been building some walls around my heart. Big and thick walls to be honest.
 I became isolated and you that know me know I am a people person and my life has always been a open book. I cannot go into the issue that caused me to be this way accept to say I have a daughter serving time in prison. I did not see this coming at all. Her family was torn apart, a divorce granted and my granddaughter is in another state. My heart broke. My pride surfaced and the first block in that wall went up. I went through all the negative thoughts......where had I gone wrong as a mother.....why did she not come to me.....what went so wrong she had to steal from her church and the lawyer she worked for......did I not teach her morals at all....what would people do I answer their questions.....and with each of these thoughts another thick block went up.
 The questions came because it was on the Atlanta news. Some of my fears came about. Some asked why I did nothing to stop this and I wondered how could I have stopped it. She was grown and lived 2 hours away. Some people just avoid you and that may be because they did not know what to say. Some found it something wonderful to gossip about and you know big blocks went up with all this.
 You all get the picture. If you know any mothers that have children in prison please reach out to them. They need your love and support. They need to be assured you are praying for them and their family. The pain is surely with the moms but it spreads to siblings, nieces and nephews and friends. So many people feel betrayed. Each time I went to the jail to see my daughter I was dismayed and lost and as I looked at the moms and wives sitting there quietly I saw they felt the same way I did and they hurt as much as I do. There is a real mission field there and these parents are from all walks of life. So reach out and show them you love them and so does Jesus. I hugged many a stranger and cried with a few and in that waiting area I found  I could be open and honest for there was no judgement just understanding.
 This takes me to what is helping me tear this wall down. I am part of a Launch team for this book......
We each got a pdf copy of this book and I tell you it is what I needed! Mary has written other books and I surely have learned from them but this one is really hitting me between the eyes just where I need it! I am reading and re-reading it slowly. I am answering the questions and I am praying, understanding much better just who my Heavenly Father is, and praising God as I feel the wall cracking and breaking. Sharing here is going to help me to and I will share this journey with anyone that wants to read it.
 Go here and you can pre-order this book or read a chapter here:

 Be prepared as you read.....Mary writes in the most open way. She shares her struggles and you will want to tear down any walls you have. In the meantime order one of her other books and when you are finished pass it on to someone that may need it.