Thursday, June 12, 2008

I AM BACK

It is so good to have a clear head...at least clear enough to share this bumpy journey.

I want to start by saying I am glad I had this surgery. I will have to fight for every degree of range of motion I can get. Remember I have not bent that knee for over 2 years so it will be a battle. The doctor kicked my femoral artery. He said he almost lost me.So they had to call in a vascular surgeon to fix that. It took 4 units of blood in the next few days and some of that time I simply do not remember.I had 3 weeks of home therapy and now am going to therapy at a center. Kim, who is assigned to me, told me we will have a fight on our hands but we will do it. So pray I have what it takes to fight through this. I still seem to be so exhausted and want my energy level to improve sometime soon. My other knee needs to be done and she thinks it should be done sooner than later. That is lot for me to deal with now. She says this knee can get no further than the other one and its range of motion is only 88. So much for me to digest now but I ask you all to pray that I have a clear answer from the Lord as to when I do the next knee.

This has been a time for me to be quiet and pray and seek God. I have had long hours alone to do it and I decided I would not get upset if I could not sleep but take that time to pray. In the still of the night it is a good time to listen and wait on the Lord. I learned much as I lay there. I also healed from some past hurts and gave those to the Lord. I saw I had put bandages over open sores so I would not have to deal with the issues. I saw what had festered and knew it had to be cleansed. It was a deep cleansing and I am thankful for it.

In these nightime hours I also heard the words gratitude, compassion, kindness and encouragement and I knew these words were from the Lord to me. I think we as Christian women need to give more encouragement, show compassion to each other and always have an attitude of gratitude. If we would send more cards, reach out to each other more without judgment, make something and share it with someone we hardly know and in doing we would touch more lives and show the world what Jesus did for us. I fear we are far too busy running around that we do not hear that still small voice tell us to reach out to that mother you just saw in church so tired and you could make a casserole for her or watch her children...we do not see the lonely look in that precious senior citizen we see everyday and all they need is a hug and kind word...we do not even see how tired our precious husbands are because we have a "honey-do list" and we want it done now and all he needs is a massage or a special dish you make......you do not see your kids are struggling with relationships or the changes in their bodies when all they need is encouragement for us.We miss so many chances to practice kindness and love.

Lewis Carroll said this:"One of the deep secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others."I want to challenge us all do a "act of kindness" for one person each day. Maybe we can share these times.

I mentioned gratitude and this week I was reminded of a blog I used to read and loved...it is called " Holy Experience"
.http://aholyexperience.com/

The challenge of "One Thousand Gifts" is one I want to take. I have kept a "Gratitude Journal" for 8 years and decided I would join this.So here goes...I will write I an thankful for at the time I am doing this.

1. It is a beautiful day in Midtown Atlanta. I have watched beautiful clouds and birds as I did my therapy exercises. There is beauty all around us and all we have to do is stop and look even in the city.

2. Barbara Johnson the author. To me she is the queen of encouragement. Someone sent me her book "God's Most Precious Jewels are Crystallized Tears". This quote has stood out to me and I want to share it.
Cathy Feste said, "Each of us has a string of pearls in our hearts. These "pearls" are the beautiful moments we've experienced in our lives, moments that become memories and will 'uplift, enliven, gladden, soften, inspire, and guide us. There are plenty of baubles,bangles,and beads in life, but only a few gems. Close your eyes and see your string of pearls. Name the gems by name, by place, by experiences, by gifts of the spirit. Whether or not you wear jewelry, always wear your spiritual string of pearls."

What a mouth full! I closed my eyes and I want to say I am thankful for my precious Grandma( above) who is with the Lord. She taught me the power of prayer and was a mentor to me as I grew up. Her love for me was unconditional and pure. I sure do miss her.
I am thankful for my favorite teacher Mrs. Murphy that took the time to explain what adoption was and that it made me special.
I am thankful for Oregon and the minute I knew what a gift the Lord was giving me.... it was John my loving best friend and husband. We were walking down the path to this lighthouse when I knew I loved this man.
I am thankful for the experience of losing our belongings because in the end it freed me to give and know that all I have is God's and if someone needs it that is fine with me if I can give it. And lastly I am thankful for the gifts of the spirit and that we can build each other up and encourage one another.

3. I am thankful for my friend Jane who has stuck with us through thick and thin and taught me what a true friend is. She taught me with her life what Samuel Johnson said, “Always set a high value on spontaneous kindness.” She has done that for me so many times because she spells love this way…TIME. To me this is the biggest gift we can give another, Thank you Jane for showing me this truth by living it.

1 comment:

deborah said...

Donna..

I'm so glad that you're back! What a joy it was to read this today. I remember when I had my knee surgery in 1996, those 'middle of the night' talks with God were so precious. I miss the intimacy at that level. I am working towards that (without the need of being put where I have nothing to do but listen I hope).

Thank you for being so real and transparent with us. It is so refreshing to see you blogging again and knowing that God has taught you so much that you will be sharing with us as we all grow together. God bless you girl.. I LOVE YOU!